Polling booths closed 2 1/2 hours ago the results have already come through in another important competition – a highly-technical, qualitative assessement of the democracy sausage offering in the Ryde electorate ……..
Enter the crew at Humans of Eastwood (HOE) – former Ryde Councillor Justin Li who is believed to have devised today’s logistics strategy and their guinea-pig, keen teen Cameron Last who doesn’t seem to be a big eater, but needed to be today.
Of course, bangers being a matter of national security, a rigorous methodology, which appears to involve the scoffing of 18 democracy sausages across multiple booths.
Cameron – it is believed – has been in Rocky Balboa-esque training in preparation for today and has undertaken specialised training to enable a world-first, innovative scoring system involve top-secret criteria – although freshness and taste is safely assumed to be among them.
Ryde MP, candidate for re-election and wannabe journo Victor Dominello scored a sneaky, pre-consumption exclusive interview with Cameron earlier in the day.
He also secured some prime branded content in Cameron’s footage comprising a cut-away shot to a wall of his campaign posters.
Today’s Tour de Sausage included visits to the following Democracy Sausage production zones:
West Ryde Public ✅
Meadowbank Public ✅
Ryde Public ✅
Putney Public ✅
North Ryde Public ✅
Ryde East Public ✅
Trustcott Street Public ✅
Eastwood Heights Public ✅
Melrose Park Public ✅
Denistone East Public ✅
Unfortunately, for reasons that have not been disclosed, Brush Farm House has been spectacularly ditched! But apologies have nevertheless been offered to an individual understood to be Head Sausage Chef at that location, Keenan Smith.
During the journey, Cameron and the Democracy Sausage Assessment Team enountered this passionate purveyor in Ryde Public School polling booth #DemocracySausage Department.
HOE has now delivered a valuable public service today, both for Ryde a nd the fledgling sausage analytics industry – so over to Cameron for the formal winners announcement.